If you’re like most readers of this article, you’re a little embarrassed to admit that you need to read this article. But the truth is no one is born a romantic. Romance is an art. It’s passed down from the generations, and it’s learned through study and practice. Although some of the rules of romanticism change with the times, there are some basic time-tested love romance tips that can help anyone become more romantic – almost instantly.
- Smile. Nothing works better in beginning a communication or setting a mood than a nice smile. It’s silent, it’s painless. It’s an instant communication tool. Women, especially, love communication of any kind. A smile is easy, and it can say a lot.
- Eye contact. Like a smile, eye contact is critical body language that aids in romanticism. A friend once told me, “I knew Paul was the man for me because when we talked, he really looked at me.”
- Attentiveness. This is a broader category of which eye contact is a part, but being attentive means more. Attentiveness is about focusing on being with the one you’re with. This category includes everything from listening when she speaks to opening doors. Attentiveness means you anticipate her needs and make sure she’s comfortable. Statements like, “Are you warm enough?” or “How’s your salad?” show you care about her. Attentiveness takes practice. It is the opposite of self-centeredness. Practice it.
- Touch. Touching can say more than words, and it can emphasize attentiveness, interest, and communication. A light touch on the hand when asking a question, or a brush of her arm before pointing out something of interest is easy, and yes, kind of romantic, as is your hand on the small of a woman’s back as you guide her through a door or a crowd of people. Touch is one thing. Gropes, squeezes, pushing, pinching may be playful, but they are not romantic.
- Conversation. A romantic wants to know about the person he is with. Did she have a nice day? How was work? Were the kids good for you today? A subset of conversation is “romantic conversation.” Romantic conversations typically include compliments, or personal topics that you would only share with someone you really care about. Of course you should preface those conversations with the words, “This is something I feel comfortable enough with you to share…”
- Simple Gifts or Acts of Caring. A romantic takes time to plan for random acts of kindness. It can be as simple as buying flowers or bringing candy for no special reason, little hugs, kisses on the check, hand-holding, a glance, a wink. Women love to be shown that you care. It’s not enough for them to KNOW you love them. Women need to be shown through simple gifts and acts of caring.
- Cleanliness. It is impossible to be romantic if you are physically unclean or your apartment or home is a mess. If you truly want to be romantic, make sure you choose a time when you are not unshaven, smelly, or dirty. Although there is a certain sexiness to “sweaty,” there is no romanticism in stench.
- That leads to the eighth tip: don’t confuse being sexy with being romantic. Although romance and sex are intimately entwined, you can be romantic without it leading up to sex. In fact, romance is an ongoing activity that will build a stock pile of good will for you that will probably lead to more sex. But you can’t expect to be romantic ONLY when you want to have sex. Women see through that quickly, and they are not fooled.
- Do something unexpected. In our busy society it can be difficult to be spontaneous, but spontaneity is romantic. Take a chance and introduce yourself to that pretty lady on the elevator. “Excuse me, but I think you’re very pretty, and I apologize for being so forward, but I really wanted to meet you. My name is John.” Sure, she might call security, but if not, you’ve had a romantic moment. It’s a little riskier than the,”Hey,” with a head nod, but far more romantic. If you’re married, do something spontaneous like make dinner reservations and surprise your spouse, or arrange for a relative to take the kids out so you can enjoy a Saturday afternoon at home alone.
- The last rule of romanticism: sincerity. You have to be sincere. It’s hard to become a die-hard romantic overnight. You also can’t be romantic with everyone. The key to a good relationship is finding someone you WANT to be romantic with. When you keep in mind the basics, you just might find that it’s easy. And if it’s not, take the cue that she’s just not the one for you.